Tom Cruisin' for Love

Photo by Olly Moss...

This rant is about to easily remind anyone who didn't skip first year philosophy of the dude who was stuck seeing only reflections of stuff in a cave...

Tom Cruise is a dick who loves Scientology, and L. Ron Hubbard can't write worth shit.

I was stuck at a highway-side camping lodge on a geology contract last summer, about 40 kilometers East of Manitouwadge, Ontario. There was a general store on site that sold everything from alcohol, to three year old marshmallows, to books. While perusing the book area, I happened to come across this gem: L Ron Hubbard's original release of Scientology, A New Slant on Life. Excited, and slightly embarrased, I brought it up to the guy at the till who clearly worked there for longer than a while. I asked him quickly, how much it would be for me to buy the book. The guy said "Make me an offer, dear", I threw him a twoonie, and off I went. (If any of you want to purchase this from me, I'm more than willing to part with it).

No word of a lie, it may have been my overwhelming ADHD, or the fact that L Ron Hubbard can't write worth shit, but I couldn't even read that book for more than 10 minutes. In any case, Tom Cruise is a two-fold dick for liking a dick who can't write. I guess I'm also a two-fold dick for ripping off the guy who had fun with Adobe Photoshop to make the photo above. Hey Tom, looks like you're going to need a better headlamp for all that time you spend in caves... Maybe I'll accompany you on your bargain hunting...